A letter from Emily
Updates from November, 2011 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Carmen
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Emilily
The zoo at night!
So, here I am at Starbucks JUST to do a blog post on what I did last night, since it was pretty cool. Chris and I went to the San Diego Zoo’s Food and Wine Celebration. They open parts of the zoo at night and there are a bunch of vendors serving samples of wine and food and wine, and wine. We also saw part of a presentation by Joan Embery about sloths, which are quite cute, and probably should have been given a nicer name than “sloth.” I mean, sloth is one of the seven deadly sins, and implies a degree of laziness that should be punished by burning in hell, which seems a little extreme. After all, sloths aren’t any slower than turtles, and no one was rude enough to name them “lazies” or “couch potatoes.”
Here are some interesting facts about sloths. 1: they eat lettuce, 2: they move 4 to 5 meters an hour, and 3: on a scale of 2 to 10, their sense of touch, sight and hearing rate a 2. Their sense of smell rates a 3, which means they could probably smell an approaching threat approximately 1.2 seconds before they became said threat’s dinner. With such a poor perception of the world around them, what’s the point of moving any faster? It’s not like it would do them any good. They do have one natural defense; their fur is home to an algae that turns brown in the dry season and green in the wet season, allowing them to camoflage with the foliage they live in. It also explains this picture of what appears to be a happy swamp creature crawling across the road.Okay, I guess the algae is not that unfortunate, since the giant claws are already a pretty effective snuggling deterrent.
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Emilily
Blogging from the phone
This is an experiment to see if posting from my phone will work. I am at the doctor’s office with my dad, hanging out in the waiting room.
Okay, well, problem #1, there is no page scrolling on the screen. So you type a few lines, then everything you are typing goes down below the screen and you can’t see it. You can still type, but it is invisible, forcing you to blindly trust the apple spell checker, which often likes to replace what I have typed with phrases like “what the duck.”
I think my dad is coming out now. I’ll upload a quick pic!
p.s. I saw you started a post on shoes. You should definitely finish it, since I am like a 7-month fashion time warp and have no idea what shoes I need to buy with this wad of cash burning a hole in my pocket!
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Emilily
Now that I am one (small) step closer to life as I knew it…
Guess what?! We can take the counter down! Because as much as I love the concept, I am not crazy how it says “…she returns in 0 days.“
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Victor
Hi M
Can I call you a squid now lol
Glad you made it through boot camp (wasn’t it so much fun??)
Anyways just wanted to congratulate you on a job well done.
I bet you can’t wait to get on a Navy carrier and be on the ocean for months at a time huh?
Vic
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Carmen
Yeah, good point, Ok, I took it down.
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Emilily
Back…sort of
One tag goes around your neck, the other on your boot - that's how they know who to return the feet to.
So here I am in A-School! I could complain about the middle-of-nowhereness of Meridian, Mississippi, but I am really just thrilled to be anywhere besides bootcamp. The highlight of my week was watching a DVD and eating M&Ms until I was (almost) sick of chocolate – it sounds boring, but it was wonderful. Seriously.
I start classes next week, and shortly after that should receive my next orders, so I’ll know where I’ll be spending the next ~3 years very soon!
Okay, enough about all that. Not that I have any other news…oh, and sorry for the short iPhone post – I did go to the computer center this afternoon, but had to spend the whole hour catching up on The Sartorialist.
Will write more soon!
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Carmen
Ahhh, sweet freedom…
Well, she made it. Emily is now in Mississippi but I received her last letter from boot camp only yesterday. For your entertainment…
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Briana
I laughed so hard I started crying!! Hilarious! Is this the whole letter or is some missing? It seems to have stopped rather abruptly. (ps. I’m so glad those weren’t Emily’s lips! That would’ve been hilarious though! :0 )
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Stella
We (Em’s mom, dad,and brother) just got back from her graduation. Really, her hair looked cute, not as scruffy as she thinks. She looks great in her dress uniform, which is black wool, and had to be worn where ever she went with us. During the grad. ceremony they had to stand for over an hour, ramrod straight, clad in wool. A few fainted, it was so hot for them. Emily and another girl had to reach out and grab a girl as she started to go over. They managed to keep her upright as she came to, and that brave girl stayed in formation for the rest of the ceremony. Unfortunately we didn’t get to spend much time with her, just Friday day (we went into Chicago to the Field Museum of Natural History, and a walk downtown) and 3 hours Sat. morning as she waited to fly out to her “A” school. At this new place she has more freedom, and is living in semi-apartments, and right next door to her is a friend she made in bootcamp, another young woman in her early thirties. She’s ready to study hard and pass all her tests with flying colors. In about 2 weeks we should know where she will go next!
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Carmen
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Carmen
Apparently my countdown is off by 2 days…
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Briana
Apparently she hadn’t received my letter yet! ={0 That’s what I get for being such a lagger! LOVE YOU EMILY!!
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Candace
Guess she hadn’t gotten mine either – I sent one as soon as I got hers too!!! At least we know they’ll keep making her smile
And of course I’m slack in sending a birthday card that would arrive on time so in advance…. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY! Hope it’s the beginning of your “end of bootcamp” celebrations!!! Congrats on all your hard work and smarts! We all knew ya had it in ya!!!LOTS to catch you up on
We love you!
C & E -
Mia
Happy Birthday Emily. Not sure what you’re doing today at the end of this experience but I hope someone there is celebrating you! Wonder if you got all the letters and card from the Synectics crew… but at least you got one of them. Probably the one that just involved 3 sheets of typed paper. I’m guessing the one with the little ziplock of shavings from your favorite Lush massage bar didn’t make it through. In hindsight that probably looked a bit suspicious. Oh well, the thought was there. Perhaps they also didn’t want to let the Hoops and YoYo audio card through. Not good to get a card that talks right? Can’t wait to hear from you when you get out. Miss You!!!
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Aunt Nancy
Happy B-day and almost “end of boot camp day” to you! Hope you have a grand celebration with all who come to honor you! Keep in touch and send the new address when you get to your next destination.
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Briana
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!!!! Love you and miss you and can’t wait to see you!
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Emilily
Aw, you guys are awesome.
Mia – the Lush bar shavings did make it through, and I secretly rubbed it into my feet at night after the lights were out! Nice work smuggling it in – if I ever go to prison, I pick you to send me the cake (chocolate) with the file in it.
Candace – I just got your birthday card last night – they re-routed it all the way to Mississippi for me
Briana – I got your letter, too, and I’m calling you soon (I have limited phone hours and locations, but stand by!)
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Carmen
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olga
How exciting! To think… we are friends with the smartest person in the camp! We always knew she was smart though… after all, she hangs out with Carmen. 22 days to go, WOW, that still seems a long way away. I really enjoy reading the letters! Thanks for posting them.
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Carmen
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Carmen
Please let me know if anyone has a hard time reading this and I’ll post it again in larger format.
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olga
I can read it just fine. Well, reading the letter makes me happy to be a civilian. I think a person would have to be very tough to deal with that situation. I would be a puddle of tears pretty much all of the time. GO EMILILY!
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Briana
Sounds like you are definitely kicking ass!! I remember right after I had Linda, that the most pleasant time I had was getting up just a few minutes before the whole house woke up and it was the best! Just those few minutes make all the difference in the world! We love you so much and hope to from you again soon! We went to see the family and are back now. I can’t imagine how cold it is where you are because we just went to the midwest and were freezing our butts off!
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Carmen
Letters from weird places
Well, at long last I have a letter to share with this lovely blog. I surely do miss posting stuff, but it just wouldn’t be the same without Emily to comment back. She wanted me to apologize for her bad handwriting but I find it charming. Please see her letter below…
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Olga
Oy vey, me tinking me not want to doing what dat chil’ doingk.
On the other hand, when she is through boot camp she may be in for the adventure of a lifetime! I’m so proud of her for sticking with it. So in honor of Emilily, I have joined the gym and so far have gone 3 days this week and it’s only Thursday! Yeah! Also I have stuck to my new weight loss program. “The Belly Cure”. I’m so not into this sort of stuff but I have a buddy that is… so in order to have a buddy I will follow the belly cure plan which is less that 100 carbs and only 15 grams of sugar a day. So far the results are good. -9 pounds -4 inches from the waist.
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Olga
Wait a minute… isn’t Great Lakes Illinois where all that snow is coming down? Double OY VEY!
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Carmen
Thats awesome! Good job and keep it up! I will be printing out any comments made here and sending them to Emily – fyi.
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Mia
Just tell Emily that her Synectics family misses her very much, especially me. Things just aren’t the same with her gone and if I think about her absence too long I start to tear up.
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Briana
Ok. So my life isn’t looking all that bad! You are awesome Emily and keep kicking ass! Missing you oh so much. We all love you here at the Traylor house!! Letters will be coming soon, but unfortunately my uncle just passed away and Lily and I flew out to Kansas City for the service. Be back soon and I’ll get out some paper and a pen. Love you!
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Carmen
And the countdown begins…
As all of us are having a normal day today and going on to have a normal day tomorrow Emily is off to embark on a true adventure. She’s off to bootcamp to train for the Navy, to get challenged in body and soul. I feel like I’m getting a little melodramatic but its kind of a big deal and if I can’t get serious about this then what can I get serious about?!
As a tribute to her decision and strong will there are (at least) two people who have told me that they are planning to challenge themselves physically while Emily is at bootcamp in the hope of supporting her from afar. Frankly, I’m “challenged” all the time so I’m just going to keep on keeping on (except I’ll be dealing with the extra added bummer of not being to talk to Emily for a while). So, if anyone would like to add their support in any way feel free to explain yourself in the comments section.
While Emily is gone I’ll be scanning and posting her letters, keeping us apprised of her weird world that she’ll be joining. Its also possible that I’ll be doing a little posting here and there if I just can’t help myself. Other than that we’ll be counting down until she returns…
66 days left (give or take)
C+E
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Emilily
66 days is all? Heck, I’m sure I can last that long! We just arrived at Chicago O’Hare and we’re about to be briefed. This will be the last post from me for awhile…thanks you guys for all your support and encouragement, and Carmen, I’m going to be sending you good post ideas via telepathy, so make sure you receive them!
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Briana
I for one am completely sad and excited at the same time. I know Emily, Tuesday and I will all be buff by the time she comes back, but I can’t help but feel a little lost knowing we have no contact with Emily. It was easy when she was in town and I could call her if I found the time, but now…….nothing! How weird is that!?! You are missed already! I also feel sad because we played phone tag 48hrs. before she left and I didn’t find the time to call before it was too late. (We did have an excellent dinner, conversation, and coffee several days before she left though.) Love you Emily! And of course I love you too Summer aka. Carmen!
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Emilily
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olga
I’m going to miss you Emilily!
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Carmen
Instead of using the phone…
We should probably discuss the fate of this blog right here …on the blog. For all of you just joining in on the conversation – Emily is joining the Navy. Yes, thats right, at the ripe age of …well, whatever, not 18. She has gone through all the preliminary process and the last step is getting on the plane to go to bootcamp. Strangely, they do not allow blogging at bootcamp. I know, weird. They don’t even allow phone calls! *cry* And this final step of getting on a plane to funtimes bootcamp happens in … 2 days *more cry* So I propose we put this blog on hiatus until we can both participate at full force, whenever that may be. Everyone who comes to this blog during its hiatus is still welcome to comment on anything and everything and you will still reach a wistful Carmen awaiting the return of her friend. *sob!*
Does that sound like a good plan Emily?
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Emilily
Yes, it does, sadly. However, I think that maybe it could be not a complete hiatus…how would you feel about scanning and posting letters I send you? Because I only have 5 hours once a week for “holiday” (and I have a feeling the Navy’s idea of a holiday is not quite the same as mine) during which I can do things like sleep, take a long shower, attend a sermon (denomination of my choice, they have 7 I think) and, most importantly, write letters. So I expect that I will not be able to put everything I want to say in an individual letter for everybody, but if I put it all in a letter to you, you can scan it and put it on the blog? I will make sure to write big enough that it can be read. What do you think? Does this sound doable? Also, I will mention right now, now that we have EVERYONE’S attention – you can all write me letters at bootcamp also! My recruiter will call you and my parents, within a few days of my arrival, and provide my new address, so it is possible you could send me a letter there before I even have a chance to write one to you! Exciting! There is one caveat – if you make the envelope look really cool and intriguing, they just might open it and read it, possibly out loud. So make the envelope look really boring, that is, unless you have something you are just dying to say to the 80+ other recruits that will be in my division.
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Carmen
Well, geez I didn’t know you were required to sign away all your rights! They can’t open your mail and read it! Thats against the law! We better not get on this topic, I might get angry. Anyways, I like this idea! I’ll totally scan whatever you want and post it that way everyone can stay up to date. And maybe I’ll do some posting too for you to read when you have access to a computer. Frankly, I think this is going to be really fascinating. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Maybe I can put a post at the top and make it sticky and it will be like a count down until you get back, so newcomers know whats up. (not that i’m expecting any) -
Emilily
Oh, a countdown! I love that idea! Remember in the Julie & Julia movie she had a countdown timer on her blog…maybe we can get a widget that does that?
I am pretty sure reading my mail falls into the “it can happen but probably won’t” category; however, as a private citizen, under the homeland security act, they can also read your email, listen to your phone calls, and open any international mail sent or received…just making sure you hadn’t been lulled into a false sense of privacy!
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Olga
I think that all these ideas are superb! I really want to hear/read what is going on with dear Emilily. I for one will miss my daily blog read. I wish Emily all the best.
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Emilily
Thanks for the nice wishes, I will definitely think of you guys when I gone!
Speaking of phone, I just wanted to say that AT&T is super awesome (for once!) and they have a plan for military people where you can suspend your account whenever you are out of a service area or unable to utilize your cell phone for any reason (like basic training!) and they reduce your bill down to $10 a month and you get to keep your phone number and all your roll-over minutes. The point being, if you call my cell after January 20th, you will get a message saying “This user is not accepting calls at this time…” and then I can turn my phone & service on again as soon as I am back!
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Emilily
where in the world is carmemily?
ok, it’s been sooooo long, I had to make a post, even though I have nothing much to talk about except for maybe some of the exciting things I am doing today, like going to the mechanic, listing my car on Craig’s List, and doing my taxes. Fun. Also, I am in the process of upgrading my adobe products, and so cannot post any new photos. To make this post more interesting, I have included a picture of my camping trip to Joshua Tree this past fall. Actually, I haven’t posted any of these pictures, and I’ve done some editing work to a few of them, so here they are…oh, crap, the files are too large, I am crippled without photoshop.
Huh.
I’ve been slacking on my fashion sales sites, K Dukes is not inspiring me, and today’s news – the earthquake in Haiti – is tragic but not controversial…I’m at a loss. I guess I could just post a bunch of pictures of my cat doing cute things with a hackey sack…or not…hey, what’s everyone else doing right now?!
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Carmen
Oh emily, I hear you. I’ve seen some bad fashion lately but not bad enough to post about. Especially when I am keenly aware that you are not waiting impatiently by your computer for my next post.
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Carmen
What a joke…
So, these are on sale today on Gilt and I’m just floored by the balls these people must have. And I’m floored by the gullibility of the people who buy this. I mean, somebody must be buying them or they wouldn’t be in business right? Anyways, apparently if you put these on your face you won’t get pimples and it will reduce wrinkles, depending on which one you use. Officially:
“Using superior technology developed by NASA, the Baby Quasar works by stimulating the natural production of collagen in the skin, thereby diminishing the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles and enlarged pores. Extremely effective in firming and toning the skin and increasing blood flow and circulation, the Baby Quasar uses 24 LED’s in four discrete wavelengths of red and infrared light.”
This is pure bullshit. And even if it wasn’t and by some miracle the light from LEDs did something beneficial for my skin I’m not going to pay $500 bucks for it! I’ll just go rub my face in the christmas lights! Cmon people, this isn’t the 1920′s! Actually the 20′s were better, at least they were advertising for things that worked – Coke! Delicious and refreshing! (Yeah it was, cause it had cocaine in it), Stay slim with your very own tapeworm! (hey, you will actually lose some weight. In fact, I’m gonna go get some tapeworms right now and start my new business! “Lose weight by meeting my little friend!”)
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Olga
Don’t forget the key phrases in your worm/diet business. You must use important sounding lines like “developed by a New York Cardiologist” it wouldn’t sound the same if you said “developed by a Mississippi Bariatric MD”. Don’t forget the all important timetable. You must keep it very specific, example “Lose 300 pounds in just 32 weeks! not 31 weeks, not “lose 300 pounds in about 7 months” 32 Weeks and I’m done! So when can I get my worms? Were they trained by NASA to eat fat fast? Are they discrete?
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Emilily
back!
I’m in Oceanside now, at my grandma’s, and we’re finally wired again! We had to buy a wireless router today – it was the only solution, since being offline for the next 8 days is not really an option.
Unfortunately, I cannot think of anything interesting to post about at the moment…
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Carmen
planning for the future…
In preparation for our next blog entitled “How to be More Like Kristopher Dukes” I went and bought some of this stuff, I’ll let you know how it goes:
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Emilily
oxymoron of the day: Fox News
Sometimes when I am at the gym, they have Fox News playing on the TV in the locker room. They also have the TV mounted on the ceiling, with no volume or channel controls in sight, so I have to quickly change my clothes while singing a little song I made up called The Fox News Song. It goes “la la la la la I can’t hear you la la la la....” Unfortunately, the other day, in between verses 17 and 18, I heard about this guy, I believe he is a Senator, named Inhofe, who has formed something called The Truth Commission. My details are sketchy, because I was still trying to not hear the first half of the story, but apparently, The Truth Commission has made it their mission to debunk climate change. I’m all for challenging commonly held assumptions, even if they do appear to be based on massive amounts of statistical data, but I have two issues with The Truth Commission.First, it is composed of three members – one of them is Inhofe, the other was some guy who’s name I did not recognize, and the third member was, and I quote, “…a secret.” Aside from the fact that we’re supposed to believe a three-member commission of politicians has discovered the truth* behind global warming that scientists around the globe have apparently got wrong, isn’t it contradictory to have a secret member in a truth commission?!
Second, even if I were to somehow accept that they are promoting a truth so infallible it need not rely on the credibility or identity of its proponents, what’s with their name? I think they are trying to emphasize a direct contradiction to the movie An Inconvenient Truth, but they gave up on coming up with anything clever and settled instead for the obvious, PR-equivalent of I-know-I-am-but-what-are-you. If you’re trying to contradict something, you usually pick words that are antonyms or exaggerated forms of the opposition’s title, and then use them in a clever way, so that the opposition can tell you are mocking them, rather than just trying to ride their publicity by using their name as a front for your own hair-brained idea. Here are some suggestions I think they should consider: The Convenience Commission, The Real Inconvenient Truth, The Commission On Climate Staying The Same And/Or Changing But Not From Man-Made Causes, or Team Petroleum.
*In case you were wondering, the truth about global warming is that “...it is a liberal-inspired hoax, intended to wrest control of world energy policy and wealth from Western countries so the United Nations can have its way.”
Damn United Nations, damn Western countries hoarding all the wealth from all that oil…oh, wait…
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Olga
Yes, Yes, we can always rely on Fox to give us news we can trust. Just look at how they uncovered Obama’s REAL plan on healthcare reform. Obama’s plan says that doctors would be reimbursed for having those tough discussions with patients about how they want their end-of-life to look, ie: do you want everything done; tubes coming out of every hole or do you want to go naturally, peacefully with no aggressive treatments to extend your life. Leave it to ex-gov Palin and Fox news to identify the REAL truth about this part of the healthcare reform bill. DEATH PANELS!!!!! OH YEAH!!! What is really going on is this; doctors are going to decide for themselves, arbitrarily who will live and who will die. Doctors will say “oh, this grandma is too old and ugly, no aggressive treatments for her!” or “oh this guy is my neighbor, he gets every orifice stuffed”. Yes yes, Fox and Palin nailed that one huh?
I just find it so incredible that such a large percentage of the country believes this crap. Ok. that’s it. That’s all I have to say.
I think I will go watch Jerry Springer now. -
Irene
Ditto everything Olga said about the “Truth Commission.” It is truly awful how so many people believe and vote for this propaganda. And it’s only a 3 person committee, with a secret member?? Or maybe it’s really a 2 person committee?
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Carmen
Remember when…
Val Kilmer used to be hot? What happened Val? Please get a personal trainer and stop breaking my heart.
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Emilily
I think I am going to cry.
Just for some perspective…
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Carmen
Thank you.
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TuesdayKnight
I wouldn’t be so quick to deny him your desire, his voice is super alluring and he has one of the best tree houses in the world, I’m still a fan Val, call me!
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Emilily
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Carmen
speaking of hair…
Do you think this lady looks like a lesbian? Not that there is anything wrong with that. However, I am trying to not look like a lesbian but my hair is growing out and I need a good in between cut. I really like this cut but I’m afraid if I got it I would look like a lesbian from the 80′s. I think my end goal cut will be this last picture.
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Emilily
Unfortunately, I agree with you – the woman in the top three pictures looks like a lesbian with that haircut. I say unfortunately because I too like the cut, and I like her style, but the two together look very lesbian. Cool, chic lesbian, but lesbo nonetheless. I have the same dilemma, because I really like a menswear-ish clothing style, and I am going to have short (shorter) hair soon, and I am really wondering how on earth I am going to avoid looking like a lesbian. I have nothing wrong with lesbians, but I don’t want to look like one. (Same as there is nothing inherently wrong with 15-year-old boys, and I don’t want to look like one of those either, but I am afraid that I will at some point in the very near future look like a combination of the two.)
Yasmine’s hair is absolutely gorgeous. You are so lucky that your hair, with the right styling products, can probably look exactly like hers. That’s probably similar to the haircut I have now, but on curly hair…I’ll bet you can rock that in a few months, until then…maybe just avoid wearing collared shirts, shoulder pads, and blazers.
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Carmen
Will do.
On the other subject:
I wonder how you can spice up your soon-to-be 15 yr old boy/ Lesbian look…. Perhaps a colorful scarf? Some earrings? Or its possible that the only thing they will allow is a rosy color to the lips? -
Emilily
I am honestly not sure. I know make-up is allowed (after basic) as long as it is not “unnatural in color” like no electric blue eyeshadow or black lipstick. Earrings…there are some restrictions as far as size…I think you’re kind of limited to studs, too. I suppose since you have to be 18 to join, the uniform won’t make me look like a 15-year-old boy, although looking like an 18-year old boy is no better. There is a version of the uniform with a skirt and heels, so…now we’re back to lesbian.
Hey, here’s a question for you – do you think Kara Thrace looks like a lesbian?
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Carmen
You mean this Kara???
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kara_Thrace
(how do i post a picture in the comments section?)
I have no idea if she looks like a lesbian. All I know is she’s hot and I’d do her. Ahh just kidding (i think my grandma reads this blog)! I’m not a lesbian grandma! -
Emilily
Yeah, that Kara! And even in the earlier episodes when she had shorter hair, she didn’t really look like a lesbian to me, she just looked hot! But, I am a girl, so then by default…does that mean she does look like a lesbian? It’s all such a gray area…
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Carmen
show off
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Emilily
ha ha.
I just go back to the last post that had a picture in the comments and copy the html and replace the image source with the new image, and the image dimensions with the new dimensions. For some reason, it doesn’t show up the first time you save the post, you have to copy the new code, save the post, go back into edit the post, paste the code back in, and the second time it shows up. Don’t know why, but it works every time.
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Carmen
Thats alot of work. I think I’ll leave it to you to do all that. Good job.
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Olga
Splitting hairs. Not everybody is as conscious of style nuances as you two are. Or maybe it’s me that has no eye for style or gender preference coding. I think that it takes way more than a haircut to make a woman look lesbian. The shoes, clothes and mannerisms are really what set the bar for women trying to show the world that they like other women. I mean what about Halle Berry? She has had some pretty short hair and not once did I think “oh, she’s a dyke” But take your Kara for example. She does not have short hair but she could easily be taken for a lesbian. It’s all in the way you carry yourself and act. Not in the cut of your hair. That’s my opinion anyway. So there.
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Carmen
Oh logical reasoning, why do you vex me so???
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Emilily
nice package
So yesterday (yes, this is a banked post!) I was standing at the water cooler, chatting with two of the engineers from our office (I know, how cliche) and we were talking about what snacks and beverages we were going to have in our booth at next week’s trade show. We always have Red Bull, water, Hershey’s Minis, and Quaker Oatmeal Bars. Sometimes we have a keg on the last day of the show. The staff is pretty evenly divided between those of us who snack on the oatmeal bars and water (me, about 89% of the time), and those who consume the Red Bull and candy, but everybody likes beer! Another thing we agreed on was that we really need to try some of those energy drinks with the alcohol already in them – not because they’re going to be any good, but because they are horrifyingly fascinating. I’m going to equate them to shooting a gun – there is great potential for bodily harm, but despite one’s better judgment, curiosity wins out. (Speaking of not listening to one’s better judgment, it was also at a trade show that I tried one of those 5-Hour Energy drinks and had an incredibly bad reaction to the toxic levels of niacin it contained.) But back to the alcoholic energy drinks…is there any other (legal) substance that can give you a buzz and keep you up for the next 24 hours? (That was a hypothetical question, but the answer is: NO, and for good reason.) So, with my opinion of these so-called beverages as nothing more than highly toxic sludge improperly marketed to teenage binge drinkers firmly in place, I hopped on the internet and did a little research. And the result? I totally have to try this. Why? Not because my opinion of alcoholic energy drinks has changed, but because I like the packaging.
So how much of a sucker am I? There are four pictures below. The leftmost two are energy drinks currently on the market, one called Sparks that looks like something a 15-year-old might be able to score at his/her local 7-11, and one by Monster featuring new Nitrous Oxide technology. Technically, I think this one may not have alcohol, and I don’t think they’re trying to imply it’s like a shot of espresso and a whippit; I believe they’re just trying to give their disgusting, foul-tasting brew the foamy frothy consistency of beer on tap. Somehow I am offended by the mere fact that they are trying to improve this crap. Now, for the next two. The first one is called Mojo, and looks like one of those anti-oxidant infused water bottles you might find at Whole Foods. All of a sudden, I am not bothered by the fact that it is 7% alcohol and has 2.5 times the caffeine as the equivalent amount of coffee. It’s French, and comes in three flavors: Tropical Fruit, Star Fruit, and Dragon Fruit. ‘Nuff said. The next one (far right) is a concept drink called Tagged, and the smooth, matte aluminum bottle makes me pray the proposed state ban on alcoholic energy drinks doesn’t nip this pretty baby in the bud.
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxOn another note, I found Mojo and Tagged through a Google image search which led me to a great blog called Dieline, featuring what else but package design! It was just a happy accident that through a post about my complete and instantaneous lack of free will when faced with a nice package that I stumbled upon this website, but it pretty much reads as a shopping list for…everything. I mean, look at this wine bottle! And these tampons…seriously? A non-repulsive tampon box? The only way that box could be improved upon is if you could also use it to bludgeon people. And, last one I promise, this rum bottle looks like it was designed by the same lettering artist who did that Wired article on pirates.
Dude, nice design just makes me happy, and gives me hope for humanity.
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olga
Yes yes yes, we are nothing but two legged cows that are easily milked, bilked and put out to pasture with our smartly designed bottles, boxes and bags. The powers that be are busy bovinizing humanity seeking to produce a vast herd of homogenized consumers. Driven not by what we need but what we can afford. If only we had lead a commercial free childhoods. If only we had been raised by wolves is more like it, then and only then would we buy what we need and not what we see and want because of the pretty or smartly designed packaging.
P.S. I really like the “Tagged” aluminum matte finish, I would buy that!
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Emilily
Humboldt Honeys
Well, my Halloween was a complete bore (I spent all day/night cleaning my old apartment) but it looks like my little brother had fun!
For future reference, you can always identify a bona fide Northern California drag queen by the pit hair and choice of footwear.
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Carmen
wow.
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Carmen
everything looks better in tiltshift…
This is a sister post to the one you did earlier on the TiltShiftGen app. Everywhere I look I keep thinking it would look better in tiltshift. I just love how it saturates everything and brightens it all up. So, for you viewing pleasure…
The view outside my work window… The remnants of a delicious chocolate cake from a great place called Bar Jules… And the GG bridge at sunset.
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Emilily
we’ve come a long way, baby….not
Dylan forwarded me this link he received from one of his married buddies. To Dylan’s credit, his email was titled “Stupid Idea” and I like to think the only reason his friends were forwarding it is because they, like me, were mocking the sad state of affairs it hints at.
I was inspired to write a testimonial to these people, but then discovered that their “Read What Other People Are Saying” section was not open to public posting, so I’ll share it with you instead.
Dear National Men Make Dinner Day Organizers,
I actually think it is a great idea…but only because your website provides a forum for women to meet other women who have married men so pathetic and lazy that they require the motivation of a fake national holiday to get their fat asses off the couch and learn how to use a can opener.
On second thought, after reading your Recipes section, if some poor woman’s knuckle-dragging mouth-breather of a husband is going to make her ONE meal, and she requests a pecan-date (and mayonnaise) cheese ball…well, maybe the lucky domestically-challenged Mr. will earn enough points that she’ll put on something from Frederick’s of Hollywood circa 1982 and they can have 1.3 minutes of sex.
Sincerely,
Anonymous, from the 21st century, U.S.A. (p.s. it is nice here, you should visit sometime)-
Carmen
There’s alot going on here and its all pretty funny (if you can get over the whole premise of the main idea). First of all, Its possible Dylan was saying “stupid idea – yeah right i’m gonna make dinner, thats what restaurants are for”. Secondly, pecan-date-mayonaisse-cheese balls! yum! I love balls!
This is all very foreign to me due to my live-in chef boyfriend who just made Cassoulet the other night. However, I remember growing up with the lady of the house making dinner every single night and that was considered normal. I would imagine that that is normal for about 90% of Americans no matter what part of the country you’re in. Gender roles are changing far and wide right about now because of this weird economy turning the tables on the breadwinners. It turns out that the women are the ones who still have jobs and are bringing in the sole paycheck. So, I’m really in full support of National Men Make Dinner Day because they need a little help! The kitchen is a scary place for some people and they need a little boost to get over it. Be brave Men!
I really like the FAQ part of the website:
Q. I once asked my husband to pick up a round steak for dinner. He came back from the store lamenting that they only had rectangular-shaped steaks. Should I help him with the shopping stage of ‘National Men Make Dinner Day’? -
Emilily
I think (hope) Dylan was saying “stupid idea” because he believes an adult male should have mastered the fundamental skill of feeding himself, but you do bring up an interesting point. Just like you are coming from the perspective of someone who practically eats at five-star restaurants every night from the comfort of her own firehouse, I am coming from the perspective of someone who’s dating pool is populated by unmarried (ideally) 30-something men. If these guys haven’t progressed beyond the Cup O’ Noodles that sustained them throughout college, they are probably losers in more than the cooking department. However, to the 90% of the country you refer to who might benefit from this, they probably married their husbands in college or high school, at which point these man-children transitioned straight from their first mother’s dining room to their second mother’s…I mean, wife’s…table. This may be the first time it has even been suggested they cook dinner! Who can blame them? It’s not their fault, and I hope that somewhere, one of them discovers, and finds true joy in, a long repressed love of cuisine that will in some small way justify this thinly-veiled suggestion that women belong in the kitchen the other 364 days of the year.
Boy, am I ever opinionated today. I think I had too much coffee or something.
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Carmen
So I was talking to Max about this (as he was making dinner last night) and his reaction when I said “Hey, Its National Men Make Dinner Night!” was “Just like it is every other night in restaurants all over the country.” Which brings a whole different perspective that I hadn’t considered. The majority of people working in restaurants are men and the majority of chefs are men! So this whole NMMDN is a big F-you to all the hard working chefs out there. Well, I tip my hat to all you restaurant industry folk out there because I could never do that job. I would run out crying on the first night for sure.
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Emilily
Yard Sale
412-A West Sola Street
So I had that yard sale like an entire week and a half ago, but I had planned on doing a post about it, so I was taking notes all morning. Here’s how it went, along with a picture from the scene of the crime, as viewed with my back to the street. The little cottage front and center is where Dylan lives, the main house to the left has tenants (four 19-yr old girls), the studio above the garage behind the main house has a tenant (another college girl) and the studio above his place has a tenant (a Presbyterian Orthodox pastor.)
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Carmen
Haahahhhhaaaaaa!!
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Carmen
she probably bought that tanktop for her daughter.
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Olga
So.. Emilily.. here is my question; why was there a tank top with “very obnoxious indeed” doing in the pile at your yard sale? Per chance was it yours? And if so… did you wear it with said spike vinyl heels?
P.S. I don’t blame you for judging. Every time I see generations of Jerry Springer wannabe’s I just sigh and wistfully dream that someday my taxes will actually go to helping schools and hospitals rather than on boxes of Krispy Kremes. -
Emilily
That’s a very good question, and I actually have a good answer – it was a party-favor type gift given at a bachelorette party I attended a few years ago. If you ask me, it is a slightly passive-aggressive thing for a bride to give her single girlfriends. Sadly enough, I never had the balls to wear it, although I like to think it has inspired a few of my relationships since then.
I’m kidding about that last part. Really.
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Emilily
since I have nothing else to report today…
…here’s a conversation* I had with Dylan last night as we were sitting on the couch watching TV and Mick was sitting on Dylan’s leg trying to eat his blanket:
*I’m using the term conversation loosely
E: Hey, remember when we lived together and I always wanted a cat?
D: [silence]
E: And now here I am, living with you, and I have a cat.
D: [silence]
E: Do you think it will be funny, having me live here?
D: [silence]
E: Aw, look, how cute, Mick is grooming your ankle.
D: Define funny.-
Carmen
Well, thats a perfectly reasonable question from Dylan. The term “funny” could be interpreted many different ways. Maybe “awkward” would have been a more descriptive and accurate word to use. fun times!
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Olga
Dylan sounds like a very intelligent man. He, unlike others of his species did not interrupt you, did not argue with you, did not just get up and walk away like you were not there. That’s a true sign of intelligence, so at the least he knows how to pick up on the thread of conversation, or at bare bones minimum can stay focused on the most recent topic of conversation carried on by others.
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Emilily
I’m back!
Holy cow! Where have I been, you ask? Well, for starters, incredibly busy with work and moving, and second, I infected my office PC with the virus of death, and it has taken three days to rebuild, so I have been cut off from the ENTIRE WORLD (or, at least, the internet.)
When I got this virus, the first thing I did (well, after aiming a barrage of expletives worthy of any sailor at the computer) was look at K Dukes 411-Spyware blog, and sure enough! I found my virus. Unfortunately, her recommended fixes did not work, perhaps they were outdated or the virus had evolved – basically, her solution involves accessing the task manager or your registry via safe mode, neither of which the virus will allow you to do. Either way, for your information, if you ever get the virus called Security Tool, the best way to fix it is to 1) throw away your infected computer and 2) buy a new computer. The other alternative is to enlist the help of the entire tech department at your office for three days to rebuild your PC, reinstall your software, reestablish your network and VPN connections, and make jokes about how you shouldn’t download porn at work. (For the record, I was looking up a recipe for rainbow cake, which I am going to make this weekend, but that sounds so harmless it was followed with jokes about how I needed to learn how to lie better.)
Anyways, as you can see, I am back online. I have so much to post about! But first, important question – should I buy this? It’s on sale at Amazon for $119. I realize that seems like a lot of money for a TV series from 1997, but it is all 10 seasons…54 discs…9,900 minutes of pure sci-fi bliss. That’s 72 cents per hour of entertainment. It doesn’t get much cheaper than that. However, it comes in this retarded-looking boxed set that basically screams “beam me up Scotty cause I plan on never getting laid again.”-
Carmen
rrr, yeah, i don’t know if you should buy that. $119 is alot to spend on something that nerdy especially when I could find a pirated copy – oh hahahhha, just kidding! I would never do that.
That sucks about your computer, mostly because I was blogging all by myself and as we can all see that doesn’t really go so well. That sounds selfish but you know its true. Glad yer back!
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Carmen
I was checking out these Photos from Russia taken in the early 1900′s when color photography was just being invented. I love all the photos, especially this one of Austrian prisoners of war near a barrack, near Kiappeselga in 1915:
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Emilily
Wow, I totally dig that photo, too. Something about the reclining pair in the front, and the jaunty hat angle of the standing guy in the white blouse, says summer camp to me, not Austrian prisoner of war barracks. Plus, it really looks like the second guy from the right has a Heineken in his lap.
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Emilily
Have you seen K Dukes today? It’s time for me to try one of those matcha green tea soy lattes I believe…
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Carmen
I don’t know if you want to do that, i think they are pretty fattening. Speaking of KDukes, you know I look up to her even though she’s probably 10 years younger than me (whatever, she’s taught me some stuff!) but I have to wonder about all this gushing about the Norma Kamali stuff. I mean, I can’t imagine her wearing any of it for real and I especially can’t imagine her shopping at wal-mart. You know what I think? She’s getting paid. Yeah, I said it.
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Emilily
The Norma Kamali on Wal-mart stuff is kind of mystifying to me, too. Like some of the shapes are nice, but I can imagine the fabric is crap. Plus, yeah right, what’s she gonna do, trot her silk-dress and stiletto wearing ass into a Wal-Mart? Not.
But have you looked at the Norma Kamali for E-bay stuff? Nothing under $200…that’s a little more believable!
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Carmen is discussing. 
Victor are discussing. 
Stella, and 
Emilily, 
Aunt Nancy and 3 others are discussing. 
Mia, 
Carmen 2:20 pm on September 26, 2011 Permalink
I was just thinking about sloths – truly! Maybe we are telepathically linked and when you were at the zoo I could see sloths in my head! I bet that happened. Anyways, what I was thinking is – how the hell have they survived all this time? They have a couple defense mechanisms – they are slightly camouflaged…. uh I think thats their only defense. Sure they have these super awesome claws but if they went to gouge your eyes out you could just move out of the way, they’re that slow. Another defense could be that they look scary and cute at the same time, thus confusing you too much to want to eat them. Also, I think its possible that they taste really bad and other animals have just learned that over time. Its probably a fact that if it wasn’t for the sloth sanctuaries around the world that they would be extinct by now. Humans are their ultimate defense mechanism.