oxymoron of the day: Fox News
Sometimes when I am at the gym, they have Fox News playing on the TV in the locker room. They also have the TV mounted on the ceiling, with no volume or channel controls in sight, so I have to quickly change my clothes while singing a little song I made up called The Fox News Song. It goes “la la la la la I can’t hear you la la la la....” Unfortunately, the other day, in between verses 17 and 18, I heard about this guy, I believe he is a Senator, named Inhofe, who has formed something called The Truth Commission. My details are sketchy, because I was still trying to not hear the first half of the story, but apparently, The Truth Commission has made it their mission to debunk climate change. I’m all for challenging commonly held assumptions, even if they do appear to be based on massive amounts of statistical data, but I have two issues with The Truth Commission.
First, it is composed of three members – one of them is Inhofe, the other was some guy who’s name I did not recognize, and the third member was, and I quote, “…a secret.” Aside from the fact that we’re supposed to believe a three-member commission of politicians has discovered the truth* behind global warming that scientists around the globe have apparently got wrong, isn’t it contradictory to have a secret member in a truth commission?!
Second, even if I were to somehow accept that they are promoting a truth so infallible it need not rely on the credibility or identity of its proponents, what’s with their name? I think they are trying to emphasize a direct contradiction to the movie An Inconvenient Truth, but they gave up on coming up with anything clever and settled instead for the obvious, PR-equivalent of I-know-I-am-but-what-are-you. If you’re trying to contradict something, you usually pick words that are antonyms or exaggerated forms of the opposition’s title, and then use them in a clever way, so that the opposition can tell you are mocking them, rather than just trying to ride their publicity by using their name as a front for your own hair-brained idea. Here are some suggestions I think they should consider: The Convenience Commission, The Real Inconvenient Truth, The Commission On Climate Staying The Same And/Or Changing But Not From Man-Made Causes, or Team Petroleum.
*In case you were wondering, the truth about global warming is that “...it is a liberal-inspired hoax, intended to wrest control of world energy policy and wealth from Western countries so the United Nations can have its way.”
Damn United Nations, damn Western countries hoarding all the wealth from all that oil…oh, wait…
Irene, and 
Emilily, and 
Carmen are discussing. 
Olga 4:37 am on December 16, 2009 Permalink
Yes, Yes, we can always rely on Fox to give us news we can trust. Just look at how they uncovered Obama’s REAL plan on healthcare reform. Obama’s plan says that doctors would be reimbursed for having those tough discussions with patients about how they want their end-of-life to look, ie: do you want everything done; tubes coming out of every hole or do you want to go naturally, peacefully with no aggressive treatments to extend your life. Leave it to ex-gov Palin and Fox news to identify the REAL truth about this part of the healthcare reform bill. DEATH PANELS!!!!! OH YEAH!!! What is really going on is this; doctors are going to decide for themselves, arbitrarily who will live and who will die. Doctors will say “oh, this grandma is too old and ugly, no aggressive treatments for her!” or “oh this guy is my neighbor, he gets every orifice stuffed”. Yes yes, Fox and Palin nailed that one huh?
I just find it so incredible that such a large percentage of the country believes this crap. Ok. that’s it. That’s all I have to say.
I think I will go watch Jerry Springer now.
Irene 5:12 pm on December 16, 2009 Permalink
Ditto everything Olga said about the “Truth Commission.” It is truly awful how so many people believe and vote for this propaganda. And it’s only a 3 person committee, with a secret member?? Or maybe it’s really a 2 person committee?