Sometimes when I am at the gym, they have Fox News playing on the TV in the locker room. They also have the TV mounted on the ceiling, with no volume or channel controls in sight, so I have to quickly change my clothes while singing a little song I made up called The Fox News Song. It goes “la la la la la I can’t hear you la la la la....” Unfortunately, the other day, in between verses 17 and 18, I heard about this guy, I believe he is a Senator, named Inhofe, who has formed something called The Truth Commission. My details are sketchy, because I was still trying to not hear the first half of the story, but apparently, The Truth Commission has made it their mission to debunk climate change. I’m all for challenging commonly held assumptions, even if they do appear to be based on massive amounts of statistical data, but I have two issues with The Truth Commission.
First, it is composed of three members – one of them is Inhofe, the other was some guy who’s name I did not recognize, and the third member was, and I quote, “…a secret.” Aside from the fact that we’re supposed to believe a three-member commission of politicians has discovered the truth* behind global warming that scientists around the globe have apparently got wrong, isn’t it contradictory to have a secret member in a truth commission?!
Second, even if I were to somehow accept that they are promoting a truth so infallible it need not rely on the credibility or identity of its proponents, what’s with their name? I think they are trying to emphasize a direct contradiction to the movie An Inconvenient Truth, but they gave up on coming up with anything clever and settled instead for the obvious, PR-equivalent of I-know-I-am-but-what-are-you. If you’re trying to contradict something, you usually pick words that are antonyms or exaggerated forms of the opposition’s title, and then use them in a clever way, so that the opposition can tell you are mocking them, rather than just trying to ride their publicity by using their name as a front for your own hair-brained idea. Here are some suggestions I think they should consider: The Convenience Commission, The Real Inconvenient Truth, The Commission On Climate Staying The Same And/Or Changing But Not From Man-Made Causes, or Team Petroleum.
*In case you were wondering, the truth about global warming is that “...it is a liberal-inspired hoax, intended to wrest control of world energy policy and wealth from Western countries so the United Nations can have its way.”
Damn United Nations, damn Western countries hoarding all the wealth from all that oil…oh, wait…
Emilily 7:56 pm on January 19, 2010 Permalink
66 days is all? Heck, I’m sure I can last that long! We just arrived at Chicago O’Hare and we’re about to be briefed. This will be the last post from me for awhile…thanks you guys for all your support and encouragement, and Carmen, I’m going to be sending you good post ideas via telepathy, so make sure you receive them!
Briana 11:53 pm on January 19, 2010 Permalink
I for one am completely sad and excited at the same time. I know Emily, Tuesday and I will all be buff by the time she comes back, but I can’t help but feel a little lost knowing we have no contact with Emily. It was easy when she was in town and I could call her if I found the time, but now…….nothing! How weird is that!?! You are missed already! I also feel sad because we played phone tag 48hrs. before she left and I didn’t find the time to call before it was too late. (We did have an excellent dinner, conversation, and coffee several days before she left though.) Love you Emily! And of course I love you too Summer aka. Carmen!